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The Post Partum Diaries: Two Months

I’ve heard it before, “you would never guess you were dealing with so much when looking at your photos on Instagram.”

I decided to take some time off Instagram while I was dealing with some personal issues instead of posting this photo and letting everyone think that I was living my best life.

A few months ago, I reached out to a dear friend of mine for some advice. She picked up the call, and I just started sobbing. She held space for me and let me release my sadness, frustration and the overwhelming feeling that felt like everything was falling apart.

She told me to take a step back and approach each situation one at a time. If I compartmentalized each problem, it would help create clarity. Interestingly enough, during one of my workouts, the trainer said something similar. “Instead of getting in my head and feeling like the rest of the workout is too difficult to complete, focus on one exercise at a time.”

I was two months postpartum and returned to work overtime. I was tired, anxious, filled with guilt and sadness.

I’m sharing this because it’s essential to paint a realistic picture of my lived experience. To share my story in the hopes, it makes another person feel better and not alone.

Every day is an effort. I wake up and immediately begin working on my mindset for the day. During my workouts, I release my anger, frustration, guilt and resentment. I replace it with love, kindness, forgiveness, heart and grace.

My good friend gave me invaluable advice that I would like to share with you.

Give yourself grace. Grace to make mistakes. Grace to not always have it together.

Someone else’s intentions and opinion of you is none of your business. (Period)

What is a priority? What matters most to you and give that most of your energy.

Figure out your “why.” Start by asking yourself what you want. Journal your ‘wants’ daily, and eventually, you will begin to see a pattern.

I’m learning to hit the ‘brakes’ once in a while and reevaluate what’s worth my energy, time and commitment. I’m hoping you take this as a reminder to do so as well.

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