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Motherhood Unfiltered

Motherhood is not easy. It’s tough and it’s a balancing act.  

One day Adam spilled 8 ounces of my pumped milk – all that liquid gold gone! And he threw it all over Alayna’s Nursery and started to cry, so I hugged him. 

I wanted to cry myself, but instead, I grabbed Alayna and fed her while Moe cleaned up the milk, then we put Adam to bed together and after I nursed Alayna to sleep.  

This picture is a glimpse into our world. Typically I’d be nursing Alayna while Adam begs for my attention. I always feel like I’m not giving either of them enough. Enough time. Enough attention. Enough space. Enough _____ the list goes on. 

I’m doing my best. Adam is living proof. Despite the guilt I felt when he was born with balancing school, a full-time job and a foundation, he always felt loved. I’m raising children that grow up to be kind, empathic and just good humans. We can all use a little more kindness and love in our lives 

I felt a lot of guilt about going back to work full time so early. I don’t recognize my body, and I’m not always kind to the woman I see in the mirror. A lot has changed, and although I’m incredibly grateful for all the change, I find myself having to rebuild. 

I’ve permitted myself to feel every emotion. I’ve given myself the grace to go through these moments and allow myself room to grow. I’m going to work on judging myself less and toning down the negative sound. 

I have two gorgeous children and my incredible husband. I am able to do everything because we are partners. We share the load and motivate one another to do what’s best for one another. Their affection reminds me that I am enough. I am doing my best. I am trying. I am loved. 

And so are you. 

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